There seems to be a lot of stigma surrounding breastfeeding mothers sharing their success and pride about their breastfeeding journey. This is something I want to address after seeing @natthenaturalmom speak of this last week. She’s been through a rough time with her daughter’s health and I know as well as anyone what a scary time it is to have as sick child. And when you have a sick child and you are able to comfort them in a matter of seconds, make them feel safe and secure and also fight any infection that may be present with the power of your breastmilk, there aren’t many things that make you prouder than that!
However something happens when a mother tells the world how proud she is for making it so far in her breastfeeding journey, people seem to feel they have the right to call her out on it, to say she is shaming and judging other mothers for not doing the same, whatever the reason for that may be.
This makes me sad as I believe every mother should be supported and congratulated on doing HER best for HER child. Someone else’s success does not mean your failure!
Let me illustrate what I mean this way:
A woman may post a photo of herself online showing the moment she crossed the finish line of the 20k marathon she worked so hard to achieve in record time. She looks fabulous, beaming from ear to ear, hands in the air signifying her joy in what she has just accomplished. Now for me, I know that I would probably be a heap of a sweaty dishevelled mess on the floor after about 2k. And that’s ok! I don’t think she shouldn’t share her success because I’m not as fit as she is, I don’t have the time or circumstances to train as much as her. I don’t feel bitter, I don’t feel shamed or judged for not being fit. I admire her, her determination, her strength and her endurance. But I don’t feel like a failure.
I may post a photo of myself breastfeeding, it makes me happy, bring me joy. I feel so proud that we fought through great struggle in the first 6 months of her life and that I made it through sheer determination and I did everything in my power to make it to where we are today. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, breastfeeding my daughter for nearly 19 months is my proudest and greatest achievement in life (maybe along side a very traumatic labour with no pain relief) no one knows just how hard we fought. I feel like I have a superpower in producing breastmilk that can fit nearly any problem in my daughter’s life. It nourishes her, nurtures her, protects her, makes her feel loved, safe, comforted, content, satisfied, sleepy and happy.
I don’t share my success to shame other mums, I don’t think they should feel shame – everyone’s journey is different and I don’t know your journey and the circumstances surrounding it. Just because I breastfeed doesn’t mean I judge another mum that doesn’t. Mothers should support mothers. Motherhood is an area in life where everyone is quick to give their opinion, advice and judgement . If mother and baby are happy they shouldn’t be judged or shamed, they should be congratulated because motherhood is hard no matter what it looks like. We should rejoice with each other not knock each other down because if our personal insecurities.
Remember there is a person behind every social media account. A real person with real feelings. A mum doing her best for her child. If you don’t have anything kind to say, don’t say anything at all. If she’s rejoicing over her personal journey, rejoice with her. If it’s not the kind of thing you’re into, if your parenting styles clash, just click unfollow, I’m sure she won’t mind.
I share my journey in the hopes to support and empower others to do the same. To create a space for mums to reach out on their bad days, to have someone who’s been in their shoes and made it through to the other side. To share my tips and tricks I’ve learnt along the way. To show that with the right kind of support and the right amount of knowledge and determination you can do it! Every mother needs support and it’s often something very lacking in society today so my goal is to do my best to be that support to any mums that find me, that can relate to me and my experience. Let’s be united in motherhood, fix each other’s crowns not knock them down. Give each other the praise and solidarity we deserve. We are all striving to be the best mothers we can be and there’s nothing wrong with sharing that and getting recognition for our hard work.
Mothers are amazing. If you’re here and reading this I’m here to tell you you’re amazing! Do you feel like celebrating something personal to you that’s you’ve worked hard to achieve? Let me know! I’d love to celebrate with you 💜
Cranio Shaped Mama 