The 2 things I was most worried about after Zo-Bo had her surgery: Breastfeeding and sleep.
I want to share what breastfeeding was like afterwards, I’ll also share what sleep was like another time 💜
I was worried that it would be painful on her head and incision site, I didn’t even know how I was going to hold and position her without hurting her head.
Honestly, the first few days were REALLY hard! They say that as soon as they come out of the ICU they can go back to being handled and fed as normal, but it was really hard. Everytime she was moved you could see it was agony for her 💔 being a mother who’s sole responsibility is to comfort and feed her child and not be able to do that without cause more pain was completely heart wrenching! It still makes me feel sick and brings a lump to my throat now thinking about it 😢
There were also lots of wires and the drain from her head to contend with.
It took a bit of team work for the first few days.
I found the easiest thing to do was for me to lift her, someone else support her head so the weight wasn’t on her own strength (or lack of) and someone else to deal with the wires and help position us.
The chairs in the hospital really weren’t very comfortable which made it a bit trickier but once she was in position, in the cradle hold we did ok. She was very heavy because of all the drugs in her system. And I felt weak and shakey from being so anxious about not wanting to hurt her 😭 but I had my family around me and that really helped ❤
The first time I nursed her after surgery, I completely broke down! It was such a mix of emotions, seeing her little face recognise and search for her most beloved source of comfort, but also seeing how much pain she was in and not be able to understand. There was relief that we were getting back to what we knew, relief that we were on the otherside of the surgery, but the ache that came with hurting her as I held her is just beyond words. 😭💜
She didn’t last long at each session, but I could see that it did make her feel a little better when she was at my breast 💜 her first smile after her surgery was while nursing and I’ll never forget that moment 💜